The CFL vs. CFL’s: Which sucks more?
February 26th, 2008 by 
Evil Carbon
Ding, ding, ding!In the red corner we the CFL, the Canadian Football League, fighting out of the Great White North, wearing multi-colored trunks with fringe. In the blue corner (or should it be GREEN??) we have CFL’s, Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs, fighting out of third-world manufacturing facilities around the world, wearing “eco-friendly” plastic packaging with an equally green warning label.
OK, you had your instructions in the dressing room, protect yourself at all times and come out fighting.
Where do I start…
Cost
- Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs - Average cost $2.00-3.50
Canadian Football League - Average ticket price CA $37.50 per game ($37.63 USD)
Winner: Canadian Football League (More entertainment for the buck)
Names
- Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs - Daylight, Twister, Soft White, Light Effects
Canadian Football League - Roughriders, Tiger-Cats, Argonauts, Alouettes
Winner: Canadian Football League (Almost lost because of the Alouettes, a French cheese)
Warnings
- Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs - Contain deadly mercury, EPA has a website about cleanup and considers CFL’s hazardous waste
Canadian Football League - Trevis Smith, Ligue canadienne de football, League Awards like Outstanding Canadian and “best looking man in the CFL”
Winner: Draw (Equal amounts of sucking)
Positives
- Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs - Saves money on energy bill, helps clear your conscience, twisty
Canadian Football League - Better than the WNBA, only has one French Canadian team, mentions “bang bang” contact in the rule book
Winner: Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs (Still needs to add “bang bang” somewhere on the packaging)
Fans
- Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs - Hot hippie chicks, Al Gore, General Electric
Canadian Football League - The 8 guys in Canada that think hockey sucks, all the NCAA Division II NFL hopefuls, Fantasy Football players who have a real problem (there’s only 8 teams, guys!!)
Winner: Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs (Sorry, I dig hippie chicks)
And the overall winner is…
A TIE!! They both suck.
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Posted in Stupid Ideas, Stupid People, Stupid Products | 
March 1st, 2008 at 2:53 am
You are too short winded. I like the Atomic Punk’s posting on global cooling more.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Very good! Glad to read something lighthearted in all the turmoil
April 19th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Whaat the light bulbs need are two distict types of light bulbs with the same name .. what the hell why not the roughriders brand light bulbs and it will steal the nostalgia from the Fottball league
April 20th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
The CFL used to have two teams called the “Roughriders” which was sad in a 8 team league
May 19th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
They say the CF lights last like 10X as long. A scientist buddy of mind did a test where the lights were switched on and off 10,000 time in a month. The CFs burned out half way through.
So, if you have a situation where you are never going to turn the light off… sure.. CFs last longer, but in every day use… forget it. Save $ and thus save the planet buy the old technology.